August 29, 2017 by Hope W.
We come to the end of Season 7! Will everyone survive? Or will it be a bloodbath like the last season finale?? It’s a super long episode. Better enjoy it, because the final season won’t air till probably 2019!
We open with Grey Worm — the only time we see him in this episode — and the Unsullied outside King’s Landing. Ominous music plays. The Lannister army shores up their defences while Bronn and Jaime look at Dany’s impressive army. Bronn demonstrates, yet again, that he is absolutely obsessed with cocks. Horns blow, and the Dothraki come charging in. (The visual effects are amazing, really. It looks like a scene from The Lord of the Rings! HBO spent a lot on their crown jewel.) Bronn has little hope of winning.
Dany’s ships approach King’s Landing without her on it. City boy Tyrion tells country boy Jon why people like to live in the city.
The Hound pokes in the hold of the ship to make sure the wight is still kicking.
Jaime looks disturbed at Cersei cold-bloodedly asking the Mountain to kill the people who come to parlay if anything goes wrong.
The gathering of enemies is at the Dragonpit where the former Targaryen dragons were kept till they grew weak and died out. Dany’s allies meet Brienne and Podrick, escorted by Bronn. Tyrion and Podrick meet again and say their hellos. Bronn references cocks again, this time, Podrick’s magical one that caused the whores in Littlefinger’s brothel to marvel at it. (Will we ever find out why it’s so magical?)
The Hound and Brienne talk for the first time since their fight in the season 4 finale. Bygones are bygones, especially when they both admit they only wanted to protect Arya. Brienne tells the Hound Arya’s alive, which he looks relieved at. He’s pleased at Brienne’s report that she has now become a person no one would dare to cross.
Now it’s Tyrion and Bronn’s turn for a proper reunion. Is Bronn thinking of switching sides? He sounds like it, though he waves it off. As is their — or at least Bronn’s — custom, they lob nasty words at each other, before admitting it’s good to see each other again.
The visiting parties walk into the imposing Dragonpit. More ominous music! Tension ratchets up! Bronn leads Podrick away, with Brienne’s permission, to let the fancy people talk, while Jon stares suspiciously. Ser Jorah looks more handsome now in his new costume! He’s been wearing that ratty, formerly-white-now-yellow shirt for as long as Dany has been across the sea, so it’s good to see him looking knightly this season, ever since he returned to Dany’s side.
The Hound tells Tyrion that he left King’s Landing because he didn’t want to die in it. And rhetorically asks if he’s going to die in it after all. Then he — and everyone else — is sidetracked when they see Cersei arriving with Jaime, the Mountain and Euron Greyjoy. Significant looks are exchanged amongst everyone with significant histories with each other. You know who they are.
The Hound looks like he’s courting death when he goes to confront the Mountain and tells him how much uglier he looks now. And for strange reasons he just walks off after telling the Mountain he always knew who’s coming for him?
Cersei asks where Dany is, and then notices Brienne staring longingly at Jaime, who looks uncomfortable acknowledging her in front of his sister lover, who’s glaring at him. And then everyone is distracted by the sound of Dany arriving by dragon! Cersei looks a little rattled at seeing their majestic power. And then completely ignores Dany’s grand entrance and admonishes her for being late.
Tyrion starts speaking, but Euron interrupts mouthily by first taunting Theon with Yara, and then Tyrion for being a dwarf. Even Cersei becomes annoyed with Euron and tells him to sit down and shut up.
Tyrion and Jon make their case for the truce and how the Army of the Dead is real and needs Westeros to band together and fight, blah blah. Cersei thinks it’s a joke, yadda yadda.
Oh, so the Hound left to get the wight. Why is he carrying it like a backpack? Instead of pulling it in via horse-drawn cart? (And of course, getting someone else to lead the horse and cart away before unleashing the wight in the arena.)
Tension whilst everyone waits for the wight to do something. And then the Hound kicks the crate sideways and the wight runs towards Cersei! She’s stunned! The Hound pulls it back and cuts it in half, but the wight continues moving. Everyone who hasn’t seen it before is amazed to see the wight cut in half and still moving, especially Qyburn, who studies its severed, twitching hand like a scientist an interesting specimen. Jon gives an impressive demonstration of how to light a wight on fire.
Dany and allies look at Cersei to see if she’s affected. Jon has given his speech about banding together. Cersei looks like she’s seriously considering it. What’s Euron gonna do? Oh, Euron wants to flee! Because he’s never seen anything as terrifying as an undead zombie in all his travels. He walks out of the arena, but not without telling Dany to go back across the sea where wights can’t swim.
Ooooh, Cersei looks like she’s accepting the truce! But is she for real?
Maybe not. Cersei stills cares about the Iron Throne more than anything, and asks Jon to return to the North and not take sides until this war against the dead is over. But Jon does a stupidly honest thing and refuses Cersei’s one condition for the truce, because he has already pledged himself to Dany.
Cersei is angry and storms off in a huff, upsetting the truce negotiations. Brienne scolds Jaime for not talking sense to Cersei. Tyrion scolds Jon for being too honest and not being politically expedient. Even Dany is annoyed that Viserion might have died for nothing. But Jon stands his moral ground. Tyrion then suggests going to see Cersei alone to persuade her. Everyone thinks it’s suicide but he insists. Oh no! Is this the last time everyone will be seeing Tyrion alive?
Tyrion is escorted by the Mountain to Cersei’s ruling chamber, and meets Jaime who has been kicked out. Now Tyrion will face his impossible odds, since Cersei isn’t even listening to Jaime. Jaime expects him not to come out alive either and says he supposes they should say goodbye, one idiot to another.
Tyrion really walks like he’s going to the gallows. :’-O:’-O:’-O Please don’t let it be the last few moments he’s alive! The Mountain keeps following behind ominously.
Tyrion dares Cersei to kill him! What is he doing!!!!
Most amazingly, his bluff worked! :-O Cersei didn’t give the order for the Mountain to kill him! Does the smallest part of her still consider him family after all?
Tyrion asks Cersei what she hoped for in letting Tyrion come. Cersei reveals that facing death, she realises she only cares about the people she loves. Tyrion realises that she is pregnant.
Dany and Jon talk again. Dany tells Jon the history of her family keeping the dragons as slaves and pets till they grew weak and small, diminishing the symbol of their power, and that’s why the Targaryens lost.
FINALLY SOMEONE QUESTIONS DANY ABOUT HER BELIEVING SHE WON’T HAVE CHILDREN! Anyway, they’ve basically accepted that they’re fucked. And then they hear a noise. It’s Tyrion returning unharmed!!!! With Cersei back to resume talks! Everyone is flabbergasted at Tyrion the Miracle Worker!
Cersei promises to march her army north to fight alongside Dany’s army and the Northerners against the Army of the Dead!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!
Back at Winterfell, Sansa is angry that Jon has pledged to bend the knee to Dany. Littlefinger suggests that Jon wants to marry her. (Which is true.) And then suggests that Jon can be unnamed King. And then Littlefinger suggests that Sansa plays a game to think the worst of what Arya wants. Littlefinger, the serpentine whisperer of suggestions. It looks like Sansa is playing into Littlefinger’s hands! Surely she can’t be so stupid! When has Arya ever wanted to be Lady of Winterfell?
In the blink of an eye, Dany and gang are back in Dragonstone. Dany decides to sail with Jon instead of flying her dragons.
Theon speaks remorsefully with Jon. Suddenly chooses this time to reminisce about old times. Theon tells Jon it’s so difficult to be a good person even though Jon makes it look easy. Jon offers Theon comforting words of forgiveness on his part. And then Theon tells Jon that Yara needs him now. Jon asks then why he’s still talking to him. Go save Yara!
Theon goes to the remaining Iron Islanders who followed Yara. Theon tries to inspire them to save Yara, but it doesn’t work. (Which reminds me of his rousing speech in the Season 2 finale to the small group of Iron Islanders who helped him usurp Winterfell, to inspire them to fight against the Bolton army who has surrounded them — only to be clobbered over the head and betrayed.) Theon starts fighting with the captain of the crew, and is beaten up badly, but refuses to stay down. The captain tries to cripple him by kneeing him in the groin, forgetting that Theon doesn’t have balls and so it doesn’t hurt him. Theon then kills that guy. And the rest of the men are apparently ready to follow him just like that. (Want to bet that they’ll betray Theon and Yara later, once Theon loses a fight against a stronger opponent?) But good for Theon, he finally found his courage to do the right thing!
At Winterfell, Sansa mulls over what Littlefinger says. It looks like her mind has been poisoned by Littlefinger, as she asks for soldiers to bring Arya to the Great Hall! Where the Stark soldiers are gathered ominously, and Bran sits beside Sansa looking like they’re ready to dole out judgment! What stupid thing will Sansa do to Arya?
OH! SANSA HAS TURNED THE TABLES ON LITTLEFINGER!! Arya looks smug. Littlefinger looks bewildered that he’s now the one on trial! The Stark siblings gang up against Littlefinger and bring evidence after evidence of him instigating the entire war between the Starks and the Lannisters and causing the misfortunes of their family! Because Robert Baratheon would never have travelled to Winterfell and asked Ned to be his Hand if Jon Arryn hadn’t died, poisoned by Lysa Arryn under Littlefinger’s suggestion! And Bran wouldn’t have climbed the tower to see Cersei and Jaime having sex, and Jaime wouldn’t have pushed him off the tower! Etc. etc.!
SANSA IS SMART NOW!!!!
THIS IS SO SATISFYING!!!!
ARYA DELIVERS THE KILLING BLOW WITH A SLASH TO LITTLEFINGER’S THROAT FROM HIS OWN VALYRIAN STEEL DAGGER!!!! JUSTICE IS SERVED!!! THE WHISPERING SNAKE IS NOW ENDED!
I was so disappointed with Littlefinger for having his last moments be so pathetic, crying and begging for Sansa’s forgiveness. He has always seemed as wily and cool as a cucumber, able to talk his way out of anything. But not this time. This time, his true colours are revealed, and in the face of impending death, he is a coward. But he had a good run. It’s just that with the White Walkers advancing into Westeros, there is no more room for Littlefinger and his machinations.
Jaime is discussing troop deployment to fight the Army of the Dead when Cersei reveals that it was all a ruse and she’s planning to let Dany’s army and the Northerners fight the dead on their own while she consolidates her army! And that Euron Greyjoy only pretended to turn back to the Iron Islands! What’s next, will she reveal she isn’t even pregnant after all???!!! Jaime tries to talk sense into her, but when she refuses to listen, he finally decides to go where his honour leads — which is his promise to fight alongside Dany and Jon — and Cersei actually threatens to ask the Mountain to kill Jaime! JAIME!!!! Tyrion didn’t die, but will Jaime???
In the end she decides not to, but the fact that Cersei even considered it for a long moment has Jaime so disappointed in her that he finally leaves her. We last see him riding to the North, as winter finally reaches King’s Landing. (Why didn’t he bring Bronn with him?!)
On a side note, Cersei sure reminds me of a certain T and his supporters now. You can talk *at* them all you like and keep telling them the world is in danger and there are bigger threats out there to focus on, but they still won’t care, and only look out for their own interests. The only solution is to leave them and go do what is right, instead of wasting your time by their side.
Sam and Gilly return to Winterfell. Sam comes to see Bran. (I’ve googled how Sam helped them over the Wall, and I still don’t remember it happening. :S) Bran tells Sam that he can see things that happened in the past and now around the world, and Sam just accepts it. Bran is all ominous and creepy, and he finally tells someone else that Jon’s parentage is Rhaeger and Lyanna! And Sam totally believes him, and is able to conveniently recall Gilly reading about Rhaeger having his marriage to Elia Martell annulled and marrying Lyanna, so Jon was never a bastard in any sense, but Aegon Targaryen — like Aegon the Conquerer! — the true heir of the Iron Throne!
Meanwhile, as Bran is having all these epiphanies in voiceover, Jon goes to Dany’s cabin at night, while Tyrion looks on (why look so disapproving, Tyrion?). And they finally have their incestuous sex that the whole season has been leading up to! Will Dany and Jon be horrified when they find out that they’re related and they did the do? Or will they finally accept that Targaryens are just an incestuous bunch and fate has made it so by bringing them together unknowingly and giving them tons of sexual tension together?
Dany will surely be crushed that she is not the true heir to the Iron Throne after all! But I think Jon wouldn’t mind giving her the throne. He never wanted to be King anyway. And the succession problem has been solved! (Besides the fact that Dany probably *can* have a child and she misinterpreted the witch’s prophecy/curse. And it’ll be Jon’s child too, at this rate.)
Sansa and Arya talk amicably, after several episodes of bickering and misunderstandings. (I would have liked to see the conversation where they realised that Littlefinger is pitting them against each other, and decided to conspire against him, while Bran tells them all the evidence they need to know to condemn him.) And Arya finally admits she would never have survived what Sansa survived. They quote their father to each other.
Bran is under the weirwood tree. Is something going to happen to him?
No, he’s looking at Eastwatch, where lots of ravens flying around and generally being an omen of doom.
OH NO! THE ARMY OF THE DEAD HAS REACHED EASTWATCH!!!! WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO!!!!!
Tormund and Beric look down in horror. Horns blow and the Army of the Dead stops. Will Viserion suddenly swoop down? YES HE DOES! And he flies over the wall! With the Night King on his back!!!! And blows ice fire! (Or just simply fire that is blue!) Destroying the Wall and its magical properties keeping out the dead! Hurry Tormund! HURRY!!!!! Get out of there!!!!
Eastwatch crumbles into the sea and the Dead march into Westeros!!!
Where’s Tormund and Beric now!!!!!!!!!
WHAT AN ENDING to a fantastic, fast-paced season where many significant things happened! Honestly, I thought more people will die in this episode (as well as last week’s episode), so to have only one death in each episode (or two, if you count Viserion last week) — and one of the deaths being a well-deserved one — is unbelievable good fortune for our characters!
I can’t wait to see how the final season is resolved!